Dreams that i had before i grew up,dreams that i have before i grow old..

Dreams and fantasies...i wonder if there is another subject to talk about,which makes a dreamer happier.When high i revel in the joy of accomplishment of a dream and when low i keep believing that someday somebody up there will breathe life to my dream(s)... whatsoever..dreams had and have always been kinda indispensable part of me.More precisely ,i live in a world of dreams and illusions.

Plunging back in time,i see myself as an enthusiastic kid with 'big','heroic' dreams(quite like the typical heroic dreams of kids)..I dreamt of becoming an IPS officer so that i could punish all the wrong doers.Not just that,i had total faith in my 'one woman army'.I dreamt of putting an end to all the evil that was prevalent and make the world the way it ought to be..the way i had seen it in my imagination from what i read in stories and what my parents and elders taught me.(funny?)

There was another facet of my dreams..Still funnier.I had improvised a 'fairy friend' of my dreams whom i used to call 'udne wali gudiya'
And this 'udne wali gudiya' supposedly was a messiah for the whole of family.How can i forget the way i used to counsel papa and ma on their everyday hitches saying,'udne wali gudiya kehti hai ki....'
As a kid,i also dreamt of becoming a 'big girl' soon.I dreamt of going to college.In my thoughts college life was such a fun.

I grew up a little.The two digit figure of the years i had lived now entered the prized teenage.It was the time when Papa's inspiring words served as catalyst to my dreams.I got a little too much into studies under the belief that 'udne wali gudiya' could help no more and that studying hard was the only way to make my dreams come true.My dreams constricted to scoring well at school and making my parents proud with my performance...I dreamt of becoming like papa.The dream of becoming an IPS gave way to the dream of becoming an engineer like papa.
But all this while the making-the-world-right pursuit did not cease.In my own little circle at home and in school i kept imposing on people the so called 'right values' ....yes, on almost everybody without fail.Cant say why or how but i also developed a feminist attitude. I hated to hear when people talked low about females.And in the fuss,i would act like guys and do everything the way guys do.I would even not believe that girls have lesser physical strength than guys!!
Finally i grew up.Part of my dreams came true.I am a big girl now.Yes,i am (for even my dreams tell the same).I go to college.I have some good time with friends out there.I am also an engineer-in-making!...But what is this??I didn't even realize as to when did it really happen,but my dreams have undergone a colossal change.
Over the years the almighty blessed me with little wisdom.I learnt certain realities of life.That the world has got to be the way it ..a grotesque version of what we read in books or what sermons tell us.That its silly to aim to make the world flawless(we don't deserve that being flawed ourselves).All we humans should aspire,is to make it better.Now i know that i need not be or behave like guys to prove females or to prove myself.In other words,i learnt to value femininity.
Now,my dreams are more 'realistic' ranging from ,keeping my parents happy in their old age,making every effort on my side to keep my family happy,being sincere and efficient in my work place,to be loved by the person i love,(this one's both funny and incredible)to be a mom someday when i grow older,to start an NGO for the needy,to serve my country in my little way...so on and so forth..
Then there is a list of whimsical fantasies like writing a book, learning to play a musical instrument,getting back to my childhood love i.e painting,spending some quiet time by the sea...........huh!...another endless list

I do feel i have been a little too demanding with myself,my life and my people..but cool it guys!thats just matter of dreams.And then,you never know,He might be busy working on some of your dreams...above all my dreams help me to live some precious moments(who cares if its just an illusion.it may be a reality someday)

Guess thats enough...let me stop here and go back to dream..Till then,here's wishing you happy dreaming!!