Was christmas ever any merrier?...Oh!..Merry Christmas!

Its Christmas eve. No, i guess it’s Christmas today! But what is making it so difficult ,to get this harbinger of delight,down my gut?…..Winter is chilly as ever and topping that the Sun is frowning and reluctant to show its face. The absolute blur would make it difficult to make out the figures passing by, even a yard away. I notice the tiny droplets of fog settling all over my hair. And time and again I let out a whiff of vapor from my mouth for my love for doing it ever since I was a kid ( it somehow still makes me feel that I have some supernatural power.. like muggles or like those monsters in fairy tales).And I do all weird things, I mean, things that are weird according to my whims and fancies, like, listening to hip-hop music, cozying in the couch before the T.V all day long switching from one channel to another to find at least one thing that sooths my restless nerve ….!I have to keep reminding myself that its Christmas, a time to rejoice, a time to celebrate, and that I am holidaying back home and that there is so much of beauty and sunshine out there..Beauty and sunshine??….Ok,I believe myself …I push a smile..I start humming a jubiliant song….but suddenly I am reminded of something… What was that? If my memory isn’t playing with me,only a few days back TV was flashing the live coverage of open fire in some place…chaos, bloodshed, panic, suffering …it was a perfect spectacle of all of it…even till today the aftermath of it is incessantly being aired on TV….I feel irritable. I accuse. I suspect the steps taken by government to refrain similar future occurance .And above all I feel helpless.I pity on myself for being able to do only one thing, that is, castigating…So,out of the gloom ,I get out of my cozy couch and decide to take a stroll by the roadside, to catch some life in motion.I put on still some more warmer clothes to look double of my actual dimensions.(only breadth wiseJ)..Finally I am out. In the open catching more light that inside of my home…I feel the wind on my face…I love it even in the piercing cold…at least its taking over the stagnation within and without. I have walked half a mile catching so many epressions on people’s faces(the fog isn’t so thick now as the early hours of day)…I enjoy observing the diversity of life before I came across this facet of the diversity…On the footpath was sitting a little girl half naked with an infant covered in rags scarcely covering his body in the chill of winter…I wonder if the infant is the little girls kid….A kid of a kid?…I feel miserable…why don’t they have clothes to protect themselves from the fiery wind?..Don’t they have a home?….Why cant I do something for them?..I think of giving away my coat to the girl? I walk a little closer…but then reminded of mamma who may scold me for giving away my new expensive coat to the urchin…There may be many thousands like them shivering in the cold with nothing and nobody to their rescue.What could I for them? How many coats would I give?I explain to myself. And I step back…back on my way….The appalling scene left me filled with remorse and guilt..I decided to retreat to my home……No, but whatsoever…its Christmas eve.The New Year will also show up soon….Its time to rejuvinate and celebrate…And as they say,”the Show must go on…”.

This was the Most Beautiful Flower

A wonderful poetry by Cheryl Costello-Forshey



The park bench was deserted as i sat down to read,
Beneath the long,straggly branches of an old willow tree.

Dillusioned with life with good reasons to frown,
For the world was intent on dragging me down.

And if that weren't enough to ruin my day,
A young boy out of breath approached me all tired from play.

He stood right before me with his head tilted down,
And said with great excitement,"look what i found!"

In his hand was a flower,and what a pitiful sight,
with its petals all worn down-not enough rain or too little light.

Wanting him to take his dead flower and go off to play,
I faked a smile and then shifted away.

But instead of retreating he sat next to my side,
And placed the flower to his nose and declared with overacted surprise,
"It smells preety and is beautiful too.That's why i picked it;here it's for you!"

The weed before me was dying oe dead.Not vibrant of colours orangr,yellow or red.
But i knew i must take it, or he might never leave.So i reached for the flower and replied ,"Just what in need."

But instead of him placing the flower in my hand,
He held it mid-air without reasons or plan.

It was then that i noticed for the very first time,
That the weed totting boy could not see, he was blind.

I heard my voice quiver,tears shone like the sun,
As i thanked him for picking the very best one.

"You're welcome "he smiled and then ran off to play,
Unaware of the impact he's had on my day.

I sat down and wondered how he managed to see,
A self-pitying woman beneath an old willow tree.

How did he know about my self-indulged plight?
Perhaps from his heart,he'd been blessed with true sight.

Trough the eyes of a blind child,at last i could see,
The problem was not with the world;the problem was me.
And for all those times i myself had been blind,
I vowed to see the beauty in life,and appreciate every second that's mine.

And then i held that wilted flower up to my noseand breathed in the fragranceof a beautiful rose.
And i smiled as i watched that young boy,another weed in his hand,
About to change the life of an unsuspecting old man.

Figures struck!!

Numerology and astrology claims that figures and arithmetic calculations are the factors that decide the course of our destiny.But there still are many who forthrightly belittle such theories.The debate on their authenticity has been lingering till date.This is one story......Apart from numerology, astrology ,mathematics ,daily counting and calculations etc,figures also have another imperative say in our lives.Ever took heed on how figures play a vital role in triggering our emotions.

Wacky as it may sound,but the adding figures inconspicuously cause humans to emote.Mythology and history has several such instances.Be it kumbhkaran's incessant hundred and eighty two days of slumber that raises million eyebrows in amazement,be it the eighteen day battle of kurukshetra which was a cauldron of emotions like the spirit of triumph,sense of utter loss ,misery, joy and what not,be it Rama's fourteen years of vanvaas which left poor king Dashrath forlorn or be it Gandhari's hundred sons or Draupadi's five husbands which amuses one today....Well,that is history and they say history pivots on fragile instances.....

So what? For,figures rule in all times and even today...Aren't we all aware of the rising figure of inflation that has been creating such a hullabaloo in the Dalal Street?.Or do we claim not to be one among the 'aam aadmi' who has lately been whining and grumbling on the rising food and fuel prices?The 'adding zeros' (oh!! i hope to be pardoned for putting it that way being a mathematics-literate ..but isn't it how they call it these days?) to the salary of MBA graduates have ignited their desire to make more and more money!Isn't the increase in pay package pushes a smile of gratification of even the poor overworked employees?Remember how a nine-on-ten or a ten-on-ten on your score card in school made your parents proud and certain of your efficient and flawless upbringing...Isn't it sometimes amusing to see mommys flaunting the 6-feet height of their kids.

There is still more to how numbers influence our outlook.Someone pick-pockets your 100 bucks and you forget about it much before you realize it but if your thousand or ten thousand bucks go missing you start loosing sleep over it.A single bomb blast is too mundane now to be given a thought over but when TV flashes news on ten or eleven intermittent 'serial blasts' ,its more than what is required to glue the entire family to the television set catching the bedlam prevalent in the effected area and updates on how far the police has reached in nabbing the suspects or the culprits....If one is killed we call it a law of nature to keep the cycle going but if thousands are killed in a train or bus mishap or an air crash we suddenly become considerate to the plight of fellow human beings.Every year rain floods some or other district but the news has never taken the attention of the people of the nation and also across the globe for that matter as it did lately when the Kosi river embankment breach which flooded nine hundred and seventy nine villages in thirty four blocks and five districts under six to ten feet of water for almost a fortnight.The havoc killed ten people,about three million became homeless,one million cattles perished ,around one lac twenty five thousand hectares of agricultural land damaged and caused an agricultural loss of rupees hundred and fifty crores............The alarming figures earned mercy of the entire nation so much so that aids and funds and all sorts of help started flowing in unfazed from all corners and helped the struggling people of Bihar come out of the dark phase....

Does it all say that figures can even help to bring about compassion??..Well, figures have this immense unacclaimed potential.They can amaze,alarm,enchant,irk,enthuse, tranquil...........and what not? In the words of Mathematician Philip J Davis,' The numbers are a catalyst that can turn raving madmen into polite humans.'

Rise and arise to realise even more..........

'There's no thrill in easy sailing when the sky is clear and blue,
there's no joy in merely doing things which anyone can do,
but there is certain satisfaction that is mighty sweet to take,
when you reach a destination that you thought you would never make.'


Sometimes i wonder if things are going in accord with the plans of the creator.He gave the same share of gift talent to all so that they can carry it with humility.Its just tht some find time and circumstances to discover the gift while some are left to grumble about the injustice of the creator.The question is, is it really not possible to get over the hard times.To rise and arise...to realise even more??

No mountaneer ever knew that he could make it to the peak of the Everest until he actually did it.How would it have worked for the wood-cutter, had he given in to his profusely oozing sweat?Because he knew that when he eventually cuts the wood in
hundred blows of his axe,it would be not because of the hundredth blow but because of the consistent 99 preceeding blows that seemed futile at one point of time.lets take for instance, the life of the legendary American President Abraham lincoln.He lead an utterly underprivilaged childhood.He didnt get a chance to go to a proper school and gained knowledge while working in farm and splitting rails for fences.He also lost his mother as a kid.His family was forced out of home and he had to work to support them.In the later years of his life he failed in business twice and lost 8 elections when he took to politics.....a stream of set backs indeed.But did he not rise again and again.Even in the midst of the stoic life,did he not dare to dream big and find a place as the 'Great American President'?.It must have been despairing for Edison to encounter successive failures. But he arised from every failure saying,'I have not failed.I've just found 10,000 ways that wont work' and ultimately invented the electric bulb without which the world would have never realised that the setting sun does not take away all the light!
To take a broader view, lets plunge back in time when history witnessed the greatest catastrophy.The nuclear attack of the United States on the Japnese
cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in the year 1945.The bombing vanquished whole of Japan. The aftermath scares one even today.Cities were reduced to rubbles.Corpses were strewn all over like litters.Hunger,agony and suffering enveloped the nation for years after........Today Japan is one of the most developed and prosperous nations of the globe with world class infrastructure,health care system,burgeoing technology,second largest economy and what not?The question is what made it possible for Japan to raise itself from rubbles to riches??Isnt it the 'rise and arise...' spirit?
Its must be a great feeling.When one realises transcening one's own supposed capabilities and expectations.All it takes is to keep alive the never-give-in attitude towards the weakening forces that make all attempts to put off our spirits in times of strife.We all have it in us deep within.All it takes is a little bit of stirring our souls,our conscience.All it takes is to try awakening the powerful human being within each one of us that often seems to be slumbering.
C'mon folks...get up and get going.The creator never gave you the veto to undermine yourself.He has made you the treasurer of your talents..so take good care of it..dont let its sheen fade away..afterall its yours!

You ready with your bag and baggage??

Kanishka is back!This time with another eye-opener....Do we ever sit back and ponder on what it takes ,to leave our homeland in search of better opportunities.The big question is, how long and to what extent will it continue?...Is it not like unknowingly contributing to the wreck of our own homeland?...



Migration to cities or for that matter to any place other than your homeland. Sometimes I think it is something beyond my abilities to comprehend and it is the field of sociologists but then most of my opinions have arisen out of my need to understand happenings specially if they have come to deal with either my family or my own life. Today there is a situation where my younger sister and my brother would probably never come back to Bihar. Not because they want it this way but because of the lack of opportunities.I love it when I imagine the good life they have in Delhi and Mumbai but the struggles and the sacrifices that come with it pains me.

The questions that have been bugging me are:

1)Is it right for me or for that matter anyone to migrate too far from his place of birth in search of a better life?

2)What decides the composition of a large city?

3)How to deal with the consequences of the migration?

Let me deal with each one of them one by one.

People migrate because:

1)They are in search of better jobs in other places.

2)They are in search of a better standard of life in terms of lifestyle, amenities, opportunities for growth and entertainment. In general because the level of life is more efficient.

3)The matrimonial ties.

4)A few of them also because they would like to settle in a new place just to get the experience of living there for some time.

The first two reasons put together I believe would sum up most of the cases. Looking for greener pastures is the most common cause. It is right too to most extent. Most of the jobs are concentrated in the cities so it is natural for people to shift towards urban areas for them. The only thing left in the villages is agriculture and some supportive services. As the level of education increases people will naturally move towards more jobs.

Industries too tend to come up around cities and in the labour class it is specially people from poor states like ours who are more concentrated.

It is due to the steady decline in the number and quality of earning avenues available in the homeland that is forcing the labour class as well as the white collar jobs to move out. I don't think migration would have been so high in our state had we had opportunities for education, industries, services, IT, agriculture or any thing leading to higher employment.

It is for this reason that there are numerous people from our state who are doing well in all areas but alas not in the state that is theirs by birth. Biharis are present in great numbers in all areas of bigger metros as well as farmlands and tea gardens along with the industries of more prosperous states. It can easily be said that they would be happy to come back at least the blue collared job holders and the labour class if given opportunities here.

People higher up in the economic and social hierarchy would take more efforts. It is because they are there because of the second reason. Their resources can be utilized here too but it is the quality of the life that they get there that matters. A better life, great amenities and the lure of living in a megaplois, who wouldn't want it?

What are the factors that decide the composition of a large city?

A large city would certainly been have a small one someday. It is large today because it presented better opportunities for habitation and life in general and grew with time. It generally grows first from the people of neighboring areas who start moving in because of the social, cultural and topographical factors. Then people from more far off places move in to cash in on the happenings. The city grows and sets up a cycle of demand and growth. The number of such cities and opportunities in the neighborhood also determines the growth pattern.

The present scenario presents a situation which is similar in almost all the cities of our country. From Delhi to Mumbai and from Kolkata to Chennai. Earlier it was the situation only in these cities. Today my smaller city Patna too is not immune. Old structures are being pulled down for apartment complexes, glitzy malls, office complexes and the cities are expanding like never before. The demography too is undergoing a sea change.

If a city developed earlier it was the inhabitants of the city along with those of the neighboring areas who moved up. Today it is a total amalgam. People do not think twice about moving to an entirely new city in search of better jobs and opportunities. This cultured has created a cosmopolitan group of people in most of the cities. It is also leading to a problem faced in most of the places today.

New inhabitants of a city often have no emotional quotionent for the city and feel no sense of ownership towards it leading to lack of civil duties and sense. People treat cities like their temporary residences and would be happier to relocate to a place promising a better life. It is also because of the similarity that the cities are taking because of the development. Rows and rows of the apartment complexes, condominiums, malls are good but get boring and the city tends to loose its character when the same markets, food and kind of life is available everywhere.

The "outsiders" tag that is given to migrants to all the cities today has some substance. Though it has been used as a political weapon more often, there is some logic when it is said that new settlers in a city do not give as much to the city as they take from it. They believe that the money they pay for the facilities is more than enough. A city needs care, a sense of belonging and civil duty towards it.

To give an example we can consider Delhi. It has always been known as a city that has been home to people from all communities and regions. The rising crime graph can to some extent be attributed to the complete sense of alienation that the migrants feel for the city.

Migrants who are rich do not care because they are too busy enjoying there life and proving to the world that they have arrived. They also like to believe that it is not their city and the bad things that are happening are due to local cultures and people until the truth hits home. The poor feel more deprived and lack even the slightest bit of belonging because they are often subjugated and do not identify themselves with the life of development seen around them.

It is not just the migrants. The local population that has been left out or sidelined by the development and influx of migrants have a sense of resentment against the system at large.

The recent Aarushi murder case showed the attitude of the naïve police in investigating the murder of a girl belonging to an upper middle class girl with whose life the police had difficulty relating to.

It is leading to a situation where people of all cultures live in a place and thrive. It is good but not at he cost that we are paying for it. In the bargain the cities are loosing theirs particular character and the citizens theirs. Accepted that the cities provide a standard of life much better than the towns but what is the point of it all when you do not feel at home? Just as the famous dialogue puts it, "what is the point of living if you don't feel alive?"

The cut throat competition to get ahead and let your other people know that you have arrived in the world with the material acquisitions has let to a culture where we have all the amenities but the time and life to enjoy the fruits of our labour.

It has also led to the eroding of one thing which the backbone of our lives till some time ago, "The great Indian family". Family was something we took for granted. No matter what happened at the end of the day we could come back home. I loved the dialogue with which the movie "lage raho munnabhai" opened. It was a telling commentary on our times. The festival times that we had in the family are getting reduced to adjustments and sms greetings. What a pity!

Am I sounding like a nostalgic country bug?

Maybe but I certainly feel we are in the stage of development where the urge to get ahead, up and forwards is surmounting a lot of other worthier things in life.

Is there a solution to it all? Well it isn't a solution after all but it is something I will certainly like to follow.

Migration is good and unavoidable in the age of globalization, bpo's, Bangalore, IT, young India's aspirations, India's middle class and the phase of development we are passing through. But there has to be a balance. Migration of the poor in hordes is certainly not proper as it leads to a list of problems. If it has to be it has to be curtailed and need based specially in a country like ours where the cultures and people change with every few hundred kilometers. Migration of the employable youth too should be checked with multicentric growth and not just developments in certain limited cities, or states for that matter. And it should start right at the level of establishment of schools and colleges. Why would anybody like to be called an "outsider" if he gets the opportunities and avenues in his heartland?

Some pooling and flow of talent and opportunities is necessary in a country like ours but not like the present.
I for one would like to stay here, no matter what. After all good, bad or ugly this is my place!

The dark black horse of luck.....

So,the very thought of that dark black sprinting horse of luck sends shivers down your spine...why not? Afterall,it is this bitchy horse that can spill water on the long saga of pain ,that you underwent to attain one of those life's innumerable goals.Remember the times when you ended up saying,'i would have definitely made it this time ,had i been able to get hold of the horse of luck for once...'.But i am not here to oil the flames of agony of the times when you encountered failure in spite of making every effort to attain success.
Cool it guys!The predicament is not clueless.All it takes is a change in perception,outlook and the way we react to times when the dark horse had been seemingly a little harsh upon ourselves.I think i am of the school of thoughts that believes, that,failure is just a means to convey that we have not been able to put our heart and soul to achieve the shimmering trophy of success..If this does not suffice you can remind yourself of this golden rule of life:
Life answers in three ways.
It says yes and gives you what you want;
It says no and gives you something better;
It says wait and gives you the best!
Now,cant you think of a handful number of times when you were totally immersed in the
pain of failure, and just in the nick of time ,you find a second option which is equally fascinating?You realize how you could never think of such a thing..I bet nobody has a 'no' as an answer to this.
Remember the glass is both half full and half empty.Don't we always find the glass half full when we are thirsty.Lets make it a habit to always find it half full.Just give in your best and don't care of the fearsome horse .If you have been sincere enough nothing can stop you from attaining your goal...Destiny and god help those who help themselves.The too-swift-to-be-caught dark horse of luck is actually not difficult to be caught...
The bottom line is:
I fear not the dark black horse of luck,for i believe that there always is light at the end of the tunnel.......:-)Enjoy!...Have a great going!!

I confess...

Strolling across the college campus,gossiping with friends back in hostel,going on and on chatting on the dinner table till its closing time for the mess,finding lots of time to put on kajal and hair clips that can match with the colour of the dress,while getting ready for college,partying,frequent outings and what not...life has actually been a leisure for the last few days..i mean ever since the final year bagan..and in all the fuss i missed on this....there were many thoughts worth putting down,but i didnt..i even almost forgot about this little space of mine which i had once proudly baptised as 'unending horizon'..Not that i regret having fun but then,i think i can manage to find some time for my thoughts while the making-the-last-days-of-college-memorable fever is catching up....so,for the moment i'll just jot down some of the issues i would like to rethink on or to extend my views on.like:
1)How does it feel to ordinary people like me as our nation just celebrated the 61st year of independence.Do we consider ourselves proud-indian??
2)Consumerism...a bane or a boon and where is it taking us.
3)Migration to mega-cities..social and family effects.
and the big one..
4)What if death took a holiday??

....will be back soon with some or at least one of these!

Dreams that i had before i grew up,dreams that i have before i grow old..

Dreams and fantasies...i wonder if there is another subject to talk about,which makes a dreamer happier.When high i revel in the joy of accomplishment of a dream and when low i keep believing that someday somebody up there will breathe life to my dream(s)... whatsoever..dreams had and have always been kinda indispensable part of me.More precisely ,i live in a world of dreams and illusions.

Plunging back in time,i see myself as an enthusiastic kid with 'big','heroic' dreams(quite like the typical heroic dreams of kids)..I dreamt of becoming an IPS officer so that i could punish all the wrong doers.Not just that,i had total faith in my 'one woman army'.I dreamt of putting an end to all the evil that was prevalent and make the world the way it ought to be..the way i had seen it in my imagination from what i read in stories and what my parents and elders taught me.(funny?)

There was another facet of my dreams..Still funnier.I had improvised a 'fairy friend' of my dreams whom i used to call 'udne wali gudiya'
And this 'udne wali gudiya' supposedly was a messiah for the whole of family.How can i forget the way i used to counsel papa and ma on their everyday hitches saying,'udne wali gudiya kehti hai ki....'
As a kid,i also dreamt of becoming a 'big girl' soon.I dreamt of going to college.In my thoughts college life was such a fun.

I grew up a little.The two digit figure of the years i had lived now entered the prized teenage.It was the time when Papa's inspiring words served as catalyst to my dreams.I got a little too much into studies under the belief that 'udne wali gudiya' could help no more and that studying hard was the only way to make my dreams come true.My dreams constricted to scoring well at school and making my parents proud with my performance...I dreamt of becoming like papa.The dream of becoming an IPS gave way to the dream of becoming an engineer like papa.
But all this while the making-the-world-right pursuit did not cease.In my own little circle at home and in school i kept imposing on people the so called 'right values' ....yes, on almost everybody without fail.Cant say why or how but i also developed a feminist attitude. I hated to hear when people talked low about females.And in the fuss,i would act like guys and do everything the way guys do.I would even not believe that girls have lesser physical strength than guys!!
Finally i grew up.Part of my dreams came true.I am a big girl now.Yes,i am (for even my dreams tell the same).I go to college.I have some good time with friends out there.I am also an engineer-in-making!...But what is this??I didn't even realize as to when did it really happen,but my dreams have undergone a colossal change.
Over the years the almighty blessed me with little wisdom.I learnt certain realities of life.That the world has got to be the way it ..a grotesque version of what we read in books or what sermons tell us.That its silly to aim to make the world flawless(we don't deserve that being flawed ourselves).All we humans should aspire,is to make it better.Now i know that i need not be or behave like guys to prove females or to prove myself.In other words,i learnt to value femininity.
Now,my dreams are more 'realistic' ranging from ,keeping my parents happy in their old age,making every effort on my side to keep my family happy,being sincere and efficient in my work place,to be loved by the person i love,(this one's both funny and incredible)to be a mom someday when i grow older,to start an NGO for the needy,to serve my country in my little way...so on and so forth..
Then there is a list of whimsical fantasies like writing a book, learning to play a musical instrument,getting back to my childhood love i.e painting,spending some quiet time by the sea...........huh!...another endless list

I do feel i have been a little too demanding with myself,my life and my people..but cool it guys!thats just matter of dreams.And then,you never know,He might be busy working on some of your dreams...above all my dreams help me to live some precious moments(who cares if its just an illusion.it may be a reality someday)

Guess thats enough...let me stop here and go back to dream..Till then,here's wishing you happy dreaming!!

Love,as i see it...

Love.....its like the wind.I cant see it but i can feel it.And shall i tell u a deep seated truth?For some time now,i have come to value love(i mean 'true love'..if at all it exists and deep down i believe,it does.)so much so that i always end up chasing such thoughts..thoughts of love.Because,the more i think of it,the more i fear of falling in love!(is it rightly said that fear never disappoints??!!)Talks apart.Today i am in to pour out all i have been able to explore about LOVE.
Well,i think love has a very diverse implication in our lives.This certainly is for the good,because,no matter whatsoever form love may camouflage beneath,the magic that those four letters come together to create,makes life beautiful,complete and above all worth living.
I consider love analogous to a tree.They share so much in common.Though absolutely mundane,there is no substitute to the shelter both of a tree and of love.(then be it a long tiresome walk on a hot sunny day or be it walking through the road of life).Both never cease to grow with time.Both outlive us.And most importantly,its hard to imagine life without both of them.
There are basically two forms of love.One form of love is the 'inbuilt love'.Like parents' love for their children and vice versa,siblings' love for each other and the love of the almighty.Needless to say,the tree of true love is planted within our souls right before the time we are born.Had it not been so,how would a new born baby be able to recognize her mom,much before the gray cells of her brain come into action.It often used to leave me wondering,as to what was the thing that brought back the giggle on the face of a crying baby the moment she is back in her mom's or dad's arms.Ever realized that the first word that you involuntarily utter in pain,is 'maa'.The only thing that can explain all such phenomena
is love...and only love.This is what i call inbuilt love.Its simply there and we cannot or need not explain as to why?But it sure does wonders.Love for instinctive inclinations,or for inanimate things is also inbuilt.like some love music,some love to travel,some love books,some love money!Its also inexplicable.At times its concerned with heredity but quite often its absolutely instinctive.
Then there is this another form of love,which i will say is not a fully grown tree of love when we are born.Its just a sapling initially and its up to us to nurture it so that soon it takes the shape of a tree(the way god did with inbuilt love much before he sent us down.And by not doing so,i fear,in a way we are disobeying gods will)Like the love for our fellow beings(better known as compassion)and the love that we fall for.That is,the love for that 'special companion' .
For the former all i will say is,its all right if we do not care to love our fellow beings,if we can well fortify ourselves for the day when we will have to confront the almighty.
Love that we fall for...Actually its this form of love that i have been trying to understand lately.What is love all about?when do you know you are in love?..so on and so forth...Realization..Yes...its the word that pops up in my mind when i think of love.The realization of significance of another person in your life who is unconditionally dear to you.The realization of belongingness to someone to whom you do not actually belong!!The realization of the unbound faith that you have for someone.the realization that you immensely respect someone.The realization of finding a companion for whom there never was and there never will be a substitute and whose company you do not find surfeit even for a lifetime.
When you can feel the presence of someone always by your side in low moments and you miss him while having a ball, i guess its love.What more.Erich Segal says it best when he says,'to love is never having to say you are sorry'.For true love does not seeks regrets and apologies.Rather its always ready to forgive because it can see things deep down that the rest of world cannot and things unsaid.
Like life,lov is a process and not a pursuit.Its a journey not a destination.Therefore,its path may be bumpy at times but thats not reason enough to put an end to love(could we do the same with life??)After all how can we unrealize something that we have already realized?True love is never complete.It keeps growing with time.(no wonder, expressions like 'we are no more in love','we broke up' etc often leaves me intrigued.)
Some say love is a commitment.I beg to differ.We love somebody and make efforts to see the person happy not because its a commitment but because we love to do it.I believe,true love never flourishes under the grace of confinement.Rightly said,
"if you love something,set it free;
if it comes back to you,its yours;
if it does not it never was."
All forms of love are interdependent.If we have abundance of any one form of love(which we all do have),it should make us rich in every form of love.

In simple words,love is great beyond words.And its great to fall for love and to be in love!!
Wish you loads and loads of love in your life!

Some questions are best unanswered..

Kanishka Kumar is studying medicine.This being the prefinal yr of his MBBS degree.He has not just been a great buddy since school days but also a person with great wisdom and my all time spiritual adviser(...am i right Kanishka?).As ever he has helped to resolve another query that hassles me every now and then.I feel its not just for me but many like me who waste the precious moments of life in a futile quest.So...over to you Kanishka...


I think i can answer some of the questions relating to our purpose in life.
Why do we make such a fuss of things and work so hard if all one has to do in this world is to live a routine life, procreate and go to hell?
So here i go.........
These are questions which have the following characteristics:

a) They come to you when you are just past your adolescent age and into young adulthood because you have somewhat formed an identity of yourself. It is then that you try coming out of your ego and try connecting with the world. It is then that you try and fit your established sense of self with the world.
In a word you try and find the meaning and purpose of your life on this planet.

b)These questions come to most of us but we ignore them in pursuit of more pleasurable things in life like friends, frolic , fun and like. Therefore i believe they come back to haunt when one is:
1) alone
2) heart broken
3) pissed off with his life
4) looking for more avenues and meaning of life

c)Youth is the time when these questions are more prominent because:
1) our spirits are high
2) not burdened by the chores life brings with it
3) there is fresh enthusiasm and belief of doing exemplary things and turning the world on its head.
4) one believes that the world should cry, laugh, enjoy and live with us.

d) They come to people of two strata:
1) those who are good at there work and well placed in life as they tend to find more meaning in life and analyze things to a greater extent.
2) those who are not so successful. They try and locate a reason in the external environment for their failure or try and rationalize that the aim they were striving for was immaterial.

let me tell you what i believe.....
I have come across these questions and have had some memorable experiences in looking for the answers.Sometime back i found them.

These are the questions that are the whole crux of our religions, spirituality and search for the knowledge that great people have spent years and years on finding. They have not done so after a lifetime of dedicated efforts.

It is an enigma as to why do we live the way we do??
To tell the truth i have stopped asking myself these questions.
But i have certain tools which help me and can help you tackle the doubts.
first i believe the answers are not attainable with such ease.These questions should be answered rhetorically.
Blast off questions like," can you imagine the universe without human beings?", "why is that some people have all the good things in life and some none?", "why do wrongs get punished late?","why do we love?","why is sex such an urge?" etc

It will make the person asking the questions feel better as he then finds one more confused person or rather one more "human being."

It also depends on your present state of mind. If you like,these discussions can go on and on.If not,you can label the person as weird.
As to the answer i believe one has to reconcile to the fact that they are there but they need one hell of a search.

On a personal level i now just live and try understanding life in bits and pieces.
deep down we all know our purposes and life will take us there if we have our basics right.

Remember the heart is on the left side but is always right!

One should never get overwhelmed by the thought and look for reasons for everything. they are so many things in this world which cannot be explained.
Come to think of it ,ones life, joys , sorrows, memories, the world, humanity and everything is miniscule when we take the scale of the universe.It is just a blip in eternity. It may be a part of a much larger canvas.

So enjoy yourself and live life the way it is!

Science Vs Religion or Science and Religion??

Reading does help to explore new avenues.Here is an instant example...A random reading prooved to be a real eye-opener..i was a non-believer of religion(not an atheist but a believer of one and only one supreme being,the sacred figure ,the guiding light..)So,being a technologist-in-making,relating religion with science was out of question..but after coming across this piece i found even science and religion have lots in common.This is how i would like to go about science and religion now...........

Science and Religion.Two terms that evolved from two starkly contrast schools of thought.One would wonder if science and religion have things to share!On the contrary,superficially ,one belies the other!Science is based on testable hypothesis while religion is mere faith.In science,a healthy sceptism is a necessity while when religion is concerned belief without evidence is a virtue! So similarity in science and religion is seemingly out of discussion....Hold on...baffling as it may sound,but both have much in common.....Remember what the great scientist Einstein once said?That, the more he studied universe(which is based on phenomenas that pivot on science),the more he believed in the existence of the higher power(the existence of the supreme being,the aura of ideal human values,which is the essence of every religion).Weren't both science and religion founded on belief in the existence of something outside the universe?As in,unexplained set of physical law and unexplained God.And dont neither of the two succeed in giving a complete account for physical existence??If religion or God is supposedly holding the natural order from beyond the universe ,the physical universe is governed by external laws(i.e Meta-laws).Physicists think of the Meta-laws as laws inhabiting an abstract realm of perfect mathematical
relationships.Shouldn't the laws of physics have an explanation from within the universe not involving appealing to an external agency ,if science brags on testable hypothesis being its sole basis??And if specifics of such explanations of science are a matter of future research,its claim to be free from faith is dubious until it comes up with testable theory of laws of universe.
Going by that which is more apparent on taking a broader view on the laws of science,don't both religion and science seem to flourish on the same side of the shore?The crux of both science and religion come down to the very similar mantra of 'faith'!!

Life's puzzles!!...huh..

I thought it was all over..i mean,trying to answer those questions that life takes unbound pleasure in posing before a 'poor child'(no, not a child actually ..couple of years back i even crossed my 'prized' teenage, though still nostalgically entangled in the time that i must learn is passe) or a 'poor human being'(sounds more apt?) every now and then.Alas! ..There was an entire questionnaire waiting to grab the slightest chance to help me sweat my brain.The ones that had always lingered in my head.And today they are back and adament on not letting me escape this time..So,the big questions are....Why are we here for?What is expected out of us as quintessential human beings?Why is it sometning baffeling if we prefer to remain ordinary?Why is it that the 'should' factor is abashedly intimidating?Why do we 'have' to be 'practical'?(the word seems to me still as puzzling as ever)..Why cant we live life on life's own?Why cant we be like the stars that keep twinkling and never fail to charm the onlooker no matter each is just like a speck in the face of sky(here the optimist in me reminds me of the words of one of my great teachers ,'Cmon girls,make something of yourself before it is too late because its only here that you can make something of yourself.Outside this collage campus you are nothing more than a speck of dirt..')Aaah... those inspiring words ..they keep haunting me ..... in the midst of all the talk i cant afford to put down the last but the most dreary one..where can i find an answer to at least some of them???
The optimist in me is not happy with such troublesome thoughts and would not let the poor pessimist take over.For,it does not want to embroil in the futile battle of intrigues.It asserts that though she too hasnt found an answer to any of them,she is nonchalant and better off with things to look up to....and she gave me this super mantra to disentangle myself...which says ,'dont bother ,Just bear in your mind the words of a wise man who once said:the three essentials of happiness are,to have something to do,to have something to love and to have something to hope for'.

Holi in the air! ! :-)

Holi Holi hai!!!...laughter and cheers rumbling over and over again in every nook and corner...and i am sitting alone in an almost deserted hostel of the nearly deserted college campus, fiddling with my thoughts...I always wonder...is that something new?Anyway,..I always wonder what must have made or inspired our predecessors come up with such an idea?I mean,how did these festivals come into being?..Is it a time to celebrate the manifestation of the right values in the mirror of Life with Prahlad,the epitome of goodness, coming out alive of the blazing flames,Rama defeating Ravana or Lordess Durga putting an end to the notorious devil,Mahisasur?(they say,most of indian festivals like Holi,Diwali,Dusshehra etc mark the victory of good over evil)...or is it the time to celebrate togetherness?...with everyone,almost every one...I remember ,as a child i was always in kind of a daze and also wee bit irritated to see guests pouring in en masse like never before(as i had to help mamma endlessly to serve them).But to my surprise my mamma's spirits never used to dampen.In fact, she used to be elated seeing all the relatives,friends and acquaintances together...bearing a quizzical expression on my face,i used to ask mamma,'Why is it that so many people turn up on one day only?Why cant they keep coming in lesser number but more frequently? And she would very patiently make me understand,'beta,You know why these festivals are a part of our rich culture?because the great people who lived before us knew how significant is the role of togetherness with our fellow beings and a feeling of belongingness to the world around is,in our lives.Festivals bring forth the time when we should let bygones be bygones and greet all with an open heart and celebrate the togetherness..'Guess she was right but what an irony of fate!Such values have blurred over time.Its the era of hasty endless pursuits wherein there is little time for 'togetherness' and yours truly is the unlucky one serving as an instance for the same.And poor mommy and papa,are back home with mere memories of the sweet time spent together when their beloved kids use to be around....making futile attempts to convince them,'beta,do turn up for next holi...its as colorless as it can be without you'.And the no less poorer daughter....she is learning to live in the company of solitude in a time that cherishes 'togetherness'!
Anyway ,May this Holi brings in loads of joy,giggles and celebration and may togetherness mingle with every soul like the vibrant colors of Holi!...Holi Hai!!

My first placement happened.....and as ever 'words and words are all i have' to express my gratitude to the Almighty...

It was just another day at coll…but for some inexplicable reason,i could see everything brimming with life even in this dreary place(as I preferred to call it).At this juncture of the fall of the summer ,which one can well predict is going to to be as blazing as ever ,I felt as if the picturesque spring has just ushered in.Ohh!what was that?? Have I gone crazy??Hope my senses don’t have plans of playing disloyal to me!…give me a break…no more undermining myself…Afterall,it isn’t actually inexplicable…I think it’s this kind of joy one revels in when in some fleeting moments you come to know ,how your long lived dream has suddenly become a reality… Yes,it was like that…As if every single butterfly in the world found a way inside my stomach.
Though,I was dead out of fatigue,(courtesy the two preceding sleepless nights) I could not take my mind off the results of the interview that was to be declared…sleeping was beyond vicinity).The only question that kept rumbling inside me was, ‘What has He got in store for me this time?’…and there He was with an answer…One of the members of the TCS HR team finally,came up with the final list of selected students…a killing moment indeed for all of us ,as we waited with bated breath to get to hear the very sound of our names.Thank goodness!!,He was with me!..He answered my interrogation with no delay(it’s sometimes great to be one of the ‘As’).I guess mine was the 6th (or was it 7th?) name that was called out…And then it took me a few more moments to get it down my gut.By that time the incredible list of the 129 selected students out of the 194 who cleared the aptitude test had drawn to its close.What followed next is easy to predict…The declaration of the results left the hall burstling with a strange hullabaloo.For it ,consisted of cheers of triumph ,tears of joys and not to forget those poignant ,quiet sobs or may be for some ‘hardys’ it ended with just a sigh of despair.
But miseries apart, I, was on the eleventh heaven trying to get in touch with Him to thank Him for this day..and also for everything He has gifted me so far and the way He has always been with me in the lowest of moments…And here I realized something I once read somewhere but had well forgotten, ‘never say why me? When He tests us with trials.because we don’t ever do the same when he chooses one or maybe some to be blessed with the good things in life.He has enough of laughter and sunshine for each and every one’.
The journey is a long one(joyous of course)…the destination is still out of sight…but its great to reach one milestone…to keep a track of how much I have been able to cover so far and to know how far I still have to go…And getting placed was indeed like reaching at least one of the many milestones that I have to cross…And to all my buddys(no matter how less in number) who couldn’t make it this time all I can say is, ‘don’t loose hope is the moral of the story!’.Afterall,He’s decided the same share of laughter and sunshine for all!!

Incredible??

The world of Gizmos!!
Try plunging back in time for a few moments and when you are back take a look around….Its inevitable to escape the realization as to how these 'tiny-tots',
‘the miniature-creatures’,(Yes, I don’t have misguiving labelling them ‘ceatures’, when, on one hand researchers are tirelessly working day in and out to device an artificial human brain)have taken the world bya storm(or is it a hurricane??) in no time.Just think of a splitsecond when we are remotely away from at least a single gizmo?
Aaah….the story of a Cell Phones ,Pagers, Laptops,Digicam(oh!…am sorry it’s the Digital Camera that can certainly give your older version every sign of friviolity)and the seemingly indispensable I-pods(thanks to Apple for this incredible gift to music lovers!),gained ostensibility much later.Haven’t we ,humans, been a little too fascinated with gadgets, ever since we embarked on the journey of evolution?Remember your Granny telling stories of how a Television or a Radio was considered a bliss during the post-independence era?And isn’t a Watch(no,it isn’t solely about the luring digital watches(Matter-of-factly, way back ,even the analog Hmt watches were equally adored)considered one of the most pleasant ‘surprise-gift’ one can fancy of receiving,through ages,without failing even today!Even the least affluent people would conscent how their under-furnished house without a refrigerator,a washing machine,an oven, a geyser,a heat-blower…an never ending list,sends shivers down their spine. But this is history.Now,we certainly have entered into a new age where such gadgets are a wee bit revered because of their indomitable successors.
The priority-list of the most-wanted gadgets in a household has undergone a colossal change.The TV is replaced by a Home Theater System and the LCD TV,The blaring Stereo system has taken over the tape recorder.The upcoming Deep-freezing and automatically-stabelized refrigerators will definitely supersede the older ones.The microwave ovens indeed belittles its predecessor.The fully-automatic ,hassle-free washing machine that has made the older one obsolete... the list goes on….And on taking a step outside the home,the techno-savvy world can indeed take some elderly gentleman/woman aback with the cell phones and laptops pivoting on the Wireless Technology (should I say the 'Wi-Fi’??)progressing like
never before!!
In a daze??Hold on…the biggest bomb is yet to explode.A one-off tour down to ‘The Gadgetland’,I mean,to Japan, will undoubtabely leave one spell-bound.For,Japan truly unveils a world brimming with amazing Gadgets.To list a few,the Miuro robot radio which gives a new meaning to the term'rock-n-roll’, the Sharp’s 165-cm(65-inch) LCD television as a part of trend towards making ever biggest TV,Sanyo’s DMX-HD2(world’s smallest high-definition camcorder),Sharp’s QW-SC1 dishwasher designed for most cramped quarters,the bubble-shaped buggy called the Pivo,etc.
The pace at which these Gizmos taking over,is alarming!Is it so that these man-made machines have plans of giving a lead to their creator himself??

Subbu harboured some feelings for quite some time now,and to my pleasure, she found this blog of mine worth letting out those deep seated feelings...

Subbu(no,'Subbalaxmi'),is popular on campus for her unbeatable repartee...but today she is all set to unearth her second incarnation ,who surely has bigger ambitions and great deeds to accomplish on her mind ,than what folks think of her!!Well,subbu may u see unforseen heights...have a great going!!



This is the first time I am penning down my thoughts and I would not have ever done this if my frnd would not had owned this blog.
College life is bindaaas!!!!... Mast!!!!!.This is what I knew and thought till my third year. Having lively and playful amusements, indulging in mockery, playing pranks on friends, late night movies , seeing myself on peak of the Everest and giving a damn to books...this was what I did. If ever ,i read books at hostel ,I concede ,they surely had to be romantic novels . This is how I defined life ....and thought I was living it to the fullest extent. While the entire world around me was busy with college events,one would find me busy completing my 10-12 hrs of sleep. Until a day or two before exam I was tight scheduled with movies. As a result my 1st yr was a disaster.
If you believe that I realised my mistake and did better in the 2nd yr you are mistaken .... I ofcourse had my spirit awaken ...but......I was so drawn to relaxed life and gradually attained my previous form.
Ohh!... my 2nd yr was again a disaster and for sure a bigger one.
It was not till few days back that I conceived the real importance of life. Now I am ambivalent about my previous behaviour because I always romanced the superficial ( in terms of joy) things.But this placement period brought about the " True Me" Now I am ready to fight back and give the world something ....... Make the country feel my presence ...

All about 'Writing'...

Writing about ‘writing’!!

Funny as it may sound ,but let me share( or write?)a few thoughts about “writing” and the ‘writer’ who finds the wastebasket ,his best friend!
Finally….. I realized that this unbeatable tool deployed (or should I say ‘exploited’?) to vent off the wildest of imagination ,ideas,emotions and expressions needs a better acknowledgment. Why don’t our dear writers ever end up writing about ‘writing’ itself?? Writing about stuffs ranging from worth raking up issues to the so-called social taboos find hard escaping the clinche of a the sensitive writer….nonetheless the art of writing still could not lure them. Fine….but since the idea did (ultimately) visit my mind, let me justiciably not let it ebb with the thousands other frivilous ones .

What gives writing an edge over speaking or any other form of expression, for that matter?? Well, this inexperienced little brain is naïve about any hard core theories…. but then, let me try answering…The best part about writing is ,it always succeeds in giving the writer a chance to make his/her point at least once!Isn’t writing like speaking uninterrupted?? I mean, how often do we find people who want to listen to our bla-bla?? Isn’t it always so, that any offbeat issue that we want to be considered, is mercilessly belittled? I must not be mistaken for accusing the listeners. Its just that we don’t have the option of deciding the cogruent listeners and what follows is that we prefer to remain dumb and keep things to our inner being .But according to Carlos Fuentes ,writing is a struggle against silence. And here’s where the writer wins. Everything that is on his mind is also in black and white. What more?? He never fails winning over a chunk of fascinated lot who are ever willing to give ears to him. There definitely exists another race of those who don’t miss on lambasting a writer’s view, but only after going through the inscription once!! And who cares afterall, because by then the author has already made his point. Moreover, if at all ,there is an ‘anti-view’ the confrontation also proceeds in a the much likeable , decent non-violent and the ‘holding-no-hard-feelings’ way ,that is, through writing.
Shakespear said ‘mercy’ to be ‘doubly-blessed’(for blessing the one who shows mercy as well as the one who receives it.) .So why can’t the art of writing earn a similar praise? For, writing entertains those who do it and also those who read it! It certainly is a doubly-blessed art. And adding yet another feather to its cap, it can also be considered as an antidote to every ailment with the immense diversity of the product of the art that is available. We have all kinds of writers whose works can be rightly described as ‘a heart-warmer’, ‘a mood-chiller’, ‘a wound-healer’, ‘an true-guide’ ,‘a support-in-times-of-strife’, ‘a worthy-companion’….and what not?
Man aspired to capture the images of certain moments in life,so that ,they last not just for a split second ,but a lifetime.Technologists breathed life to this dream by inventing cameras. So why would the writer lag behind in lending a helping hand when man endeavoured to make some invaluable thoughts tangible and immortal.
Well said, that Writing is not apart from living. Writing is a kind of double living.The writer experiences everything twice. Once in reality and once in that mirror which waits always before or behind.
The act of putting the pen on paper causes a pause for reflections and makes us more familiar with life itself!!

Namaskar Ladies :)

I said,'Girls are born to be flawless'...What's that?..Did i mean every word of it???

Ohh!..am immensely sorry ....for having used the wrong adjective.(Has there ever,existed on this earth, a mortal being which can be aptly described as 'flawless'??Isn't it well said that the absence of flaw, even in beauty is a flaw.In a word ,human aspirations never limit to the state of flawlessness!!)But then,what made me utter those words??Guess it was the heart felt gratitude that has been honed over the years of my life so far.And on getting a chance ,it finally found its way.Gladdening me even more,it came just in the nick of time,when the world around has been obliviously acting indifferently to the greatness of women.
How often do we care to acknowledge the woman and womanhood for being the indispensably significant contributor to the very foundation of the society??What is the frequency with which we prefer to express kudos to the woman who keeps changing her role on the stage of life to make the world a happier place to her beloveds.Be it the lovely daughter ,be it a thoughtful and considerate friend or be it the life-giver,the mother, ever ready to make sacrifices for the smallest fancies of her children. (is it worth pondering on??...never seemed like it.)And then after years of tribulations ,when she could ,deservingly grab opportunities outside the family and household ,her astounding efficiency took aback all who found it hard to give up misgivings about the capabilities of the female.Education of women gave impetus to revolution of rennovation of the society with women and men working at par.In no time their ascent to the pinnacle of all walks of public life has become somewhat phenomenal!!Do i need to recount the great women of which history stands a witness.Ranging from the great warrior Maharani Lakshmi Bai,the first woman prime minsiter of India, Mrs Indira Gandhi, the first lady IPS of India ,Mrs Kiran Bedi,the princess of extrateresstrial world, Kalpana Chawala and her successor Sunita Williams,and not to forget the great woman of the age of globalisation Mrs Indira Nooyi.(the first woman CEO of an MNC).But isn't the greatness of women much beyond the reverence earned by a handful of such illustrious ladies??Funny as it may sound,but matter-of-factly even the girl next-door or the lady living in seclusion of a house of an obscure village,is a substantial contributor in making the world as beautiful and worthwhile.The greatness of women lie not in having got the best of cards but in certainly playing those they got , the best!!
Lets be candid.Haven't we been a little too parsimonious in applauding the girl,the woman,the lady.Haven't we been moving on too hastily taking things for granted.
Lets not forget to salute the the ladies.Hats off to you boss,for weathering all storms admirably and gallantarily coming out with the twinkling sheen of the winning trophy!!